Oxymorons…
1. Inexpensive shortcuts in life.
2. Contemplative/introverted talk show host.
3. Satisfied NY Yankees fan.
4. Pessimistic Chicago Cubs fan.
5. Reliable Yugo.
6. Unsalted SALTine crackers.
7. Convertibles in Seattle.
8. Entertaining C-Span footage.
9. Organic fried food.
10. Encouraging mail from the IRS.
11. Clean pick-up truck.
12. Delicious beer.
13. Talking on the phone with an airline customer service agent.
14. Understandable train loudspeakers.
15. Delicious seafood.
16. Timid cab drivers.
17. Calm family road trips.
18. Talkative librarians.
19. Delicious dark chocolate.
20 Sugar-free candy.
21. Pleasant visits to the DMV.
22. Quick-clean-up glitter.
23. Feeling great after a day at the carnival.
24. Fancy overalls.
25. Clean Wrigley Field bathrooms.
26. Chicago hotdogs with ketchup.
27. Too many cashiers at Wal-Mart.
28. Spending just a couple dollars at Target.
29. A full NHL season.
30. Washable markers.
31. Staying wide awake thru an entire opera.
32. Affordable professional sporting event.
33. Bi-partisanship.
34. Encouraging mirrors.
35. Quick little colonoscopy.
36. Minor surgery.
37. Waterproof ANYTHING.
38. Routine root canal.
39. Experienced kamikaze pilot.
40. Intimidating jockeys.
41. Safe ladders.
42. Leaving DisneyWorld with money.
43. Pit traders with low blood pressure.