That Awkward Moment When…
1. That awkward moment when you take your large family of young kids out to eat & people in the restaurant have a disgusted look as you enter…
2. That awkward moment when you finally save up enough money to buy a trendy new outfit & realize theres a new style thats popular now…
3. That awkward moment when one of your major appliances breaks down the day after the warranty expires…
4. That awkward moment when you’re stuck in traffic, you fight to change lanes, & then the lane you were just in starts moving quickly…
5. That awkward moment when you & another car get to a stop sign at the same time, you both wave each other to go 1st, you both pause, & then you both start driving at the same time…
6. That awkward moment when you finish emptying the entire dishwasher and you realize none of the dishes were clean…
7. That awkward moment when you unwittingly take a huge gulp of orange juice right after brushing your teeth in the morning…
8. That awkward moment when you’re finally drifting off to sleep and you realize you have to get ready for work/school in ten minutes…
9. That awkward moment when you finally buy a popular German car but its so old that its obvious to everyone that you don’t have a lot of money…
10. That awkward moment when you realize the time stamps on your tweets/FB statuses reveal to the world what poor sleeping habits you have…
11. That awkward moment when you’re fixing your hair in a public bathroom & the dude who just took a vigorous dump leaves w/out washing his hands…
12. That awkward moment at a fancy restaurant when you tell the waiter that you really want a cheeseburger and French fries for dinner…
13. That awkward moment when you realize that mcdonalds french fries go from first to worst about three minutes after you get them…
14. That awkward moment when your pregnant wife sends you to get her late night junk food & you eat the entire extravalue meal on the drive home…
15. That awkward moment when you realize that even though you are over 30 years old, the primary principle that guides your life each day is YOLO…
16. That awkward moment when you realize you’re so lazy you’d walk thru a foot of snow in flipflops for the newspaper on your driveway than take time to put on your boots…
17. That awkward moment when you realize that you’ve made over 2,000 tweets & theres no evidence that anyone else has ever read any of them…
18. That awkward moment when you realize that even with a 50% off coupon you still cant afford something…
19. That awkward moment when you realize that you’ve fallen asleep before 10pm every night for the past week and you dont really care how lame that is…
20. That awkward moment when you’re served a steak at a nice restaurant & you secretly want someone to cut it up into tiny pieces for you…
21. That awkward moment when you finally get an article written about you in the newspaper…and it’s your obituary…
22. That awkward moment when you take the car you’ve had for 10 years to a gas station & you just cant remember which side the gas cap is on…
23. That awkward moment when you realize that the only followers you have on twitter are spam companies looking to sell you junk…
24. That awkward moment when you are hanging out with new friends/coworkers & you have absolutely nothing interesting to share about your life…
25. That awkward moment when you are the only person in a group of friends to laugh at something and you do so very loudly…
26. That awkward moment when you’re telling a long story to someone & they abruptly start talking to someone else in the middle of it…
27. That awkward moment when you send a mass facebook email to your friends right before bed & by morning most of them have ‘left the conversation’ without replying…
28. That awkward moment when you watch as an adult a movie you LOVED as a teen, and you cant believe you ever liked it…
29. That awkward moment when you realize you dont like at all the movie everyone says is their favorite of all time…
30. That awkward moment when you swallow the last bite of something and immediately wish you hadnt eaten it…
31. That awkward moment when, after seeing the latest hit comedy movie, you are the only one of your friends to quote a line that isn’t actually funny…
32. That awkward moment when you realize that Jeremy Renner has somehow been in every action movie you’ve seen this year…
33. That awkward moment after a haircut when the stylist excitedly asks, “how do u like it?!” & you hate what u see in the little handheld mirror…
34. That awkward moment when you see a police car’s sirens in your rearview mirror, you pull over to let it pass, & you realize its coming for you…
35. That awkward moment when you unexpectedly see a friend in public, run up & loudly surprise them, & realize its not really your friend at all…
36. That awkward moment when you sneeze loudly in class, theres no Kleenex, everyones looking at you, & you have a boatload of snot in hand…
37. That awkward moment when you surprise your spouse w/their favorite take-out at the same time that they surprise you w/an elaborate homecooked meal from scratch…
38. That awkward moment when your friends realize you don’t know what hashtags are because you only use them on Facebook…
39. That awkward moment when someone asks you, “so what should I do?” after telling you a long story & you realize you werent paying attention to them…
40. That awkward moment when you say “Thank you, sir” to a woman and “Thank you, ma’am” to a dude…
41. That awkward moment when you arrive at a friend’s pool party and realize you forgot to cut your extremely long toenails…
42. That awkward moment when you fart in public, a stranger nearby thinks their baby pooped, checks the diaper, & then realizes that you’re responsible…
43. That awkward moment when you go to the bathroom after leading a business meeting & realize you had a prominent booger in your left nostril the whole time…
44. That awkward moment when you realize you’ve annoyed all your friends by posting too many “awkward moment” situations on FB and Twitter and filling up their newsfeeds…
45. That awkward moment when your credit card gets declined after the cashier has rung you up for $200 worth of groceries…
46. That awkward moment when you accidentally put a bunch of groceries into another person’s shopping cart…
47. That awkward moment when your waiter asks if you want another delicious beverage (u do) & answers NO when you ask if there are free refills…
48. That awkward moment when you hand your warm, deep yellow urine sample to the nurse at the doctor’s office…
49. That awkward moment when a salesperson stands right next to you as you pose in front of the mirror while trying on a new outfit…
50. That awkward moment when your waiter/waitress is standing by watching as you’re deciding how much of a tip to leave on the receipt…
51. That awkward moment when you think someones staring at you, you glance around, & sure enough, someones staring @ u w/an intense look on their face…
52. That awkward moment when you glance at the driver next to you & they have their index finger in their nose up to the 2nd knuckle…
53. That awkward moment when you clog the toilet with dookie at another person’s house…
54. That awkward moment when you’re praying by yourself quietly and you realize you just slept for twenty minutes kneeling against your couch (and the hair above your forehead is pushed up in a gel-less spike)…
55. That awkward moment when the stoplight turns green, you accelerate forcefully, and you realize you’d put the car in park…
56. That awkward moment when you go to kiss a relative on the cheek, you both go the same way, you both step back, laugh, & both go the other way…
57. That awkward moment at subway when the guy has just finished making your custom sandwich & you realize you dont want the bread you chose…
58. That awkward moment when you land in Hawaii & realize why your vacation was discounted-its one of the two times all year it rains for a week…
59. That awkward moment when your 5 year old beats you in a game, your spouse whispers “thanks for letting her win” & inside you know you tried your best not to lose…
60. That awkward moment when you’re singing boisterously in church and you’re the only person to start the 2nd verse early…
61. That awkward moment when you’ve been shopping at the mall all day and you have no idea where you parked…
62. That awkward moment when you realize that most of your children’s less-desirable traits come from your side of the family…
63. That awkward moment when you realize you’ve never seen an episode of the recently-ended hit tv series that everyone’s talking about…
64. That awkward moment when you realize you just handed in an entire paper for school written in texting shorthand…
65. That awkward moment when you realize you’re actually not smarter than a 5th grader…
66. That awkward moment when you realize that your nose hairs are longer than the hairs on your head…
67. That awkward moment all October every year when you’re a Cubs fan…
68. That awkward moment when you send a humorous tweet w/out checking it & auto-correct has made it funnier than you originally intended…
69. That awkward moment as an adult when you realize that 9/10 of your all-time favorite movies are made by Pixar…
70. That awkward moment when your children catch you eating an amazing dessert in the garage because you don’t wanna share any w/them…
71. That awkward moment when you’re watching the Maury povich show…’Nuff said…
72. That awkward moment your potty-training toddler has to go poop in a public bathroom and every toilet is ‘gas station-nasty’…
73. That awkward moment when you have diarrhea and you realize there’s no more toilet paper in the bathroom…
74. That awkward moment when someone asks u a question about the bible lesson you taught last weekend & you cant remember what the main points were…
75. That awkward moment when you realize your life is so good that you don’t ever notice the price of gas when you fill up…
76. That awkward moment when your ten year old catches you doing the same thing you punished her for doing five minutes ago…
77. That awkward moment when you just finish a 16oz. NOS energy drink (with the same amount of caffeine as five cans of Mt. Dew) and you’re more tired than you were before…
78. That awkward moment when you swallow part of a Dorito & you grab your chest as its sharp edges lodge into your esophagus while descending into your stomach…
79. That awkward moment when you excitedly eat a piece of fancy assorted chocolates and realize on the first bite that you chose your least favorite kind…
80. That awkward moment when you realize that 1. all your FB friends are listening to some cool song (that you’ve never heard of) on Spotify and 2. that you have no idea what Spotify is…
81. That awkward moment when you look at past photos and realize your friends were right–you did in fact have a mullet…
82. That awkward moment when you suddenly realize that you have finished an entire quart of Oberweis Cinnamon ice cream all by yourself in an astonishingly short amount of time…
83. That awkward moment when you smell something terrible and finally realize the odor is coming from you…
84. That awkward moment when you want a piece of candy so bad that you eat…a…tootsie roll…
85. That awkward moment when you’ve been looking forward to doing something all day, you finally get all your chores/work done, and then you fall asleep the moment you sit down…
86. That awkward moment when you FINALLY snuggle up in bed under the covers in a perfectly comfortable position…and realize you left all the lights on downstairs/still have your contacts on…
87. That awkward moment when you have been waiting on hold for customer service so long that, when the agent finally answers, you forget why you called in the first place.
88. That awkward moment when someone shares bad news on FB and you “like” the status not because you’re glad they are hurting but rather to encourage them. Then you “unlike” the status to not hurt them and they get offended because they think you don’t support them in their pain.
89. That awkward moment when you non-chalantly scratch your ear, a chunk of ear wax falls out, and you nervously look around to see if anyone noticed.
90. That awkward moment when you planned on writing 100 “awkward moments” but can only think of 90. 🙂
I pray at least one of those made you smile…:)
SoulSpartan