SoulSpartan’s Original T-Shirt Quotes (TSQ)…


Yes, this is what I do when I can’t sleep.

TSQ #1: “I didn’t fall; gravity just tackled me.”

TSQ #2: “I’m not bossy; I’m just advice-oriented.”

TSQ #3: “I’m not lazy; I just religiously obey inertia.”

TSQ #4: “I don’t procrastinate; I just refuse to be bullied by deadlines.”

TSQ #5: “I’m not messy; I just don’t believe in the propaganda of cleanliness.”

TSQ #6: “I’m not late; time just hates me.”

TSQ #7: “I’m not a garbage man; I’m a curator of donated wealth remnants.”

TSQ #8: “I don’t always lose; I just consistently love to see others succeed.”

TSQ #9: “I’m not a loser; I just hold the world’s record for the longest streak of not-winning.”

TSQ #10: “I’m not arrogant; I just want to help others reach their potential by copying me.”

TSQ #11: “I’m not a bad person; I just want to teach others how not to live.”

TSQ #12: “I’m not a couch-potato; I’m just allergic to sweat.”

TSQ #13: “I didn’t quit; I just retired from teamwork.”

TSQ #14: “I wasn’t fired; I was just encouraged to share my talents with another company.”

TSQ #15: “I’m not cheap; I just love helping you practice generosity.”

TSQ #16: “I’m not frustrating; I’m just training you in patient endurance.”

TSQ #17: “I’m not annoying; I’m just helping you learn how to deal with your anger.”

TSQ #18: “I’m not a reckless driver; I’m just protecting you from falling asleep behind the wheel.”

TSQ #19: “I’m not boring; I’m just vaccinating you from excitement.”

TSQ #20: “I’m not selfish; I’m just fully focusing my philanthropic endeavors towards myself.”

TSQ #21: “I’m not a failure; I just refuse to hoard and monopolize success.”

TSQ #22: “I’m not extroverted; I just can’t stand seeing you not enjoy me.”

TSQ #23: “I don’t talk too much; I just want to help you improve your listening skills.”

TSQ #24: “I’m not sleeping in class; I’m just teaching you how to engage an unresponsive audience.”

TSQ #25: “I’m not arguing; I’m just vehemently filibustering my opinion.”

TSQ #26: “I’m not always right; I just consistently fail at successfully being wrong.”

TSQ #27: “I’m not a shoe-shiner; I just maximize the visual potential of your primary walking equipment.”

TSQ #28: “I’m not a little league baseball coach; I just protect the players from the parents.”

TSQ #29: “I’m not opinionated; I just aggressively market my personal perspective.”

TSQ #30: “I’m not stalking you; I’m just dedicated to protecting you from solitude.”

TSQ #31: “I’m not lying; I’m just investing in the research & development of my own version of the truth.”

TSQ #32: “I’m not bad at golf; I just enjoy seeing the entire course when I play.”

TSQ #33: “I’m not bothering you; I’m just helping you take your mind off your other problems.”

TSQ #34: “I’m not a criminal; I’m just a world-renowned law contortionist.”

TSQ #35: “I’m not sick a lot; I just have long-term investments in pharmaceutical companies.”

TSQ #36: “I’m not destructive; I just inspire architects to design stronger structures.”

TSQ #37: “I’m not giving up; I’m just strategically repositioning my efforts.”

TSQ #38: “I’m not a shopaholic; I’m just actively concerned about the long-term employment viability of retail workers.”

TSQ #39: “I don’t eat too much; I just generously support alternative farmer subsidies.”

TSQ #40: “I’m not ambitious; I’m just tenaciously goal-oriented.”

TSQ #41: “I don’t have an addictive personality; I’m just zealously passionate about long-term, consistent participation in specific activities.”

TSQ #42: “I’m not plagiarizing you; I’m just sharing your talent with others under the pseudonym of my name.”

TSQ #43: “I didn’t steal from you; I just anonymously borrowed from you on a permanent basis due to your reputation of generosity.”

TSQ #44: “I’m not judging you; I’m just generously tattooing your reputation with my own biased opinions.”

TSQ #45: “I make everyone happy all the time! They’re either happy when I arrive or happy when I leave!”

TSQ #46: “I’m not scared; I’m just giving you a chance to be brave.”

TSQ #47: “I’m not crashing your party; I’m just showing you what a mistake you made by not inviting me.”

TSQ #48: “I’m not stealing; I’m just showing you how good it feels to give your stuff away!”

TSQ #49: “I’m not yelling at you; I’m just passionately showering you with my anger!”

TSQ #50: “I’m not stubborn; I’m just firmly embedded in the trench of my own opinion.”

TSQ #51: “Excuse me. Is your name ‘Phonics’? ‘Cuz I’m hooked on you.” 🙂

TSQ #52: “I want my impatiens flowers to grow NOW!”

TSQ #53: “I always wear short sleeve shirts ‘cuz it’s illegal in Illinois to carry concealed weapons.”

TSQ #54: “I don’t fart a lot; I just travel through clouds of intestinal turbulence every day.”

TSQ #55: “I didn’t screw-up, I just did a great job in a slightly inaccurate way! :)”

TSQ #56: “I’m not old; I’m just an experienced life practitioner!”

TSQ #57: “It’s not a nursing home; it’s an experienced life practitioner sustainment center.”

TSQ #58: “I’m not volatile, I’m just always preparing you for the worst-case scenario!”

TSQ #59: “I’m not a follower, I’m just…wait, what do you think I should say?”

TSQ #60: “I’m not grumpy, I’ve just donated all my goodwill to charity.”