I’m A Dad…And I LOVE It!

There are plenty of difficult/frustrating aspects to being a Dad (most of them a result of my own shortcomings/flaws, not my kids’!). But this note intends to highlight the myriad of amusing/funny/encouraging parts to being a Dad. Dad-hood is not easy, but nothing worth having ever is!

SLEEP

1. I sometimes fall asleep at 8:30pm in my day-clothes immediately after tucking my children into bed…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT! 

2. I sometimes fall asleep while snuggling with one of my children in their beds at night and wake up at 2am initially frightened because I don’t understand why I’m in a room with bright pink walls…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT!

3. I sometimes fall asleep while reading a book to my children; they tuck me in snugly under a blanket and go off to do other activities…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT!

4. I sometimes doze off in our 200 square foot living room while two children are screaming, two are arguing, and one is playing with a new toy that has two volume levels: annoyingly loud and annoyingly louder…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT!

5. I often fall asleep in the empty bathtub in the mornings while my two oldest daughters get dressed for school (I need to physically be with them as they get ready to stop them from arguing and waking up the rest of the family)…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT!

6. I often run the drying machine on “no heat” for 30 minutes to help my 15 month old fall asleep or so I don’t wake her up by stepping on a creaky spot on the floor as I pass by her room…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT!

7. I have often done laps around my kitchen in a sleep-induced haze at 2am for 30 minutes straight while trying to get one of our infants to fall back asleep…only to have to start the process all over again because they woke up THE MOMENT I put them back down in their crib…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT!

POOP

8. I don’t even notice anymore the foul stench of poop and urine coming from the Diaper Champ/Diaper Genie in my 15 month old’s room-just smells like home to me…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT!

9. I’ve non-chalantly eaten a finger food (e.g. pizza or chicken tenders) without washing my hands immediately after changing my daughter’s diaper…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT!

10. When I just absolutely NEED a ten minute break by myself, I often lock myself in the bathroom, turn on the fan, and pretend to go poop…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT!

11. True story: I walked into our bathroom, discovered a random six inch long poo turd in the middle of the floor, cleaned it up without thinking it strange at all, and then casually went back to updating my Facebook status without saying a word to anyone…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT!

STAINS

12. I often get to work and,without previously noticing, realize that I have spit-up on my shoulder, banana smeared on my watch, a Disney princess sitcker on my pants, and/or a cut on my cheek from my infant’s razor-like nails…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT! 

13. To try to limit the Himalayan-like piles of laundry each week, I often have my kids wear the same pajamas for a “few” nights in a row (but no, I don’t flip their undies inside-out!)…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT!

FOOD

14. There are certain food items that are MINE–I just don’t want to share them with the kids but I can’t stand eating it in front of them with them just staring at me pitifully. So sometimes I pour myself a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch (or have a Luigi’s Lemon Italian Ice) and I eat it quietly in the corner of the garage, even in winter when it’s freezing and I’m only wearing shorts and a t-shirt…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT!

15. I shamelessly only eat at Denny’s on Tuesday or Saturday evenings because all the kids can eat there for free…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT!

16. Like an unscrupulous raccoon, I often scrounge around our local church’s 3 refrigerators trying to assemble a “dinner” I can bring home so Sarah can have a night off from cooking…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT!

MISCELLANEOUS

17. For the three months after each of our kids have been born, I have often felt a concrete sense of accomplishment at managing to shower twice in a given week…I’m a Dad…AND I LOVE IT! 

Are you a Mom or Dad? Why do YOU love it? 🙂